Something a little lighter let's go with music perhaps before you find out more about Julie?

I AM really liking this off the cuff writing it's sort of theraputic in a way isn't it, lets you put your feelings down and your thoughts, rambly even though mine are!

So what have I found recently that inspires me?  Well you'd think at 37 I'd have had all the inspiration I needed.  Not true you can always keep growing, keep finding out more and more and one thing which has been a huge inspiration for me over the last year is music.

Music you say?  Well everyone likes music!  Yeah, true but do they really listen to the words and feel them, putting my hands up now I didn't before!!  It was just in one ear and out of the other and sure I liked music and dancing, but THIS is the important part for me now I've come across all sorts of musicians through being on facebook and totally re-jigged (Is that a word?  Well it is now!).

My tastes have changed rapidly I was always a sort of "poppy girl" before, no longer, I can appreciate a good pop song, BUT now I'm totally open to hearing all sorts of music.  Country - yeah it does it for me it sort of really lets the emotions out, blues music and this might only be me - kinda raw and what I'd like to play I think if only I could master this guitar!

My leaning is towards rock now and I am loving it (yeah I do like a bit of Michael Buble - no judging on that one people - good songs are good songs)!!  Rock is really raw, lets all sorts of emotions come flooding out and rock needn't be heavy metal, although I do like my \m/ it can be soft as well and I think if I'm trying to pin it down that's why I like it - its got many faces to it.

So you've found out a bit more about Julie, she's a changed girl musically as well - hmm lots of changes in my life over the last few years - I think rock was always there, it just hid itself from me very well I don't think I listened to what my heart really wanted to listen to.

As I said good music is good music from whatever genre its from, just stop and listen to the lyrics sometimes, sometimes they're speaking about what your heart really wants to say what is impossible to keep silent, I think I've found my niche musically but I'm always open to new music because THIS new Julie wants to keep learning, growing and experiencing.

Talk to you soon.

Jewels xxx

So now are you ready for more - do you want a peek inside Julie's head?

I kinda like doing this now it might seem a bit rambly but that's the sort of person I am - WELL it is now didn't always used to be because not only has my inside changed but my outer look has changed as well.

This is supposed to be about me right?  Well two years ago I was 8 stone heavier and no I'm not going to show you the photos but I WILL show you a photo of me a year ago and one now to show you what I can now see.

I didn't think I looked any different at all - you all know how you think you look in the mirror my perception of how I looked was way different but that's because I had been a lot bigger for a lot of my life - there is a story in here that will be for later which shows you that I'd not always been bigger but as I said I think that's for somewhere down the line not now not when you are getting to know the real Julie.  Infact I'm just getting used to knowing the new Julie, its quite a surprise and people sort of seem to like it.

The first photo was taken a year ago and I was heavier then not 8 stone heavier than I am now but a lot heavier and in my head I still thought up until the other day I was that woman.

Now take a look at the second photo that's me a couple of days ago - right huh why didn't I see it before, perhaps you have a mental image stuck in your mind when you are much bigger.

Then scan the pictures at how I look in my eyes - can you see in the second photo I'm happy, I'm so happy, I want to give off that glow always and PLAN on doing it!

I'm now the size that Marilyn Monroe always was a size 16 and I'm planning on losing more weight - but its not because I want to be Marilyn - goodness gracious that would be ridiculous!  But its for me that I want to lose more weight I now can accept compliments on how I look I couldn't before - ANOTHER major thing for me, now it's about being as great as I feel on the inside, showing on my outer shell and I know that you can be a fabulous person heavier or lighter but this is my story and this is how I feel.

Healthy is the way to go for me because with my family history I want to be the best Julie inside and out that I can be and I think I'm giving off that sort of glow now, I kinda feel it & others have reinforced it but I KNOW and that's the most important part me knowing that I'm OK, I'm good, I'm not perfect but then who in the hell wants to be perfect - NOT ME! 

Enough for now I think because there's a lot more about Julie that you'll find out.

I think the main message I'm trying to get across is that love yourself whether you be bigger or smaller, smaller is working for me but body type doesn't matter to me where friends are concerned, you can be heavy/thin somewhere inbetween - I'm going for the inbetween - I think it sort of suits my character to be not one side of the scale but somewhere in the middle - basically feel comfortable in your own skin and I SO DO now I SO DO.

We'll talk again I'm sure of it.

Jewels xx

So Let's Find Out a Bit More About Me - Now Are You Sure You Want To?!

So I did my last blog months ago and didn't publish it hmm that is a bit like me I'm a self confessed Libran with all of those traits and thought well what will people think of me?

Now comes the BIG part in my life a lot has changed in those few months, unwittingly people have helped me along the way, I've decided to shed my skin funny analogy a bit like a snake peeling off my insecurities layer by layer, basically trying to make myself a better person (cry at the back says you're not one of these people that force your opinion on other people).  No I'm not.  I like to take people as I find them and with a few weird experiences along the way (but then don't we all have some) I like to make people happy.

BUT the biggest thing I've realised is that to help others to be happy is that you have to be fully yourself and that's me now I don't really care what people think of me, sure you're going to have people that like you and people that don't.  Maybe its an age thing?  Doubt it I'm only 37 and not ready for a middle age change but I am ready for a before 40 type of change and that is what I'm aiming to do and succeeding.  See I praised myself then something I would never have done before.

Hmm this is getting a bit deep isn't, are you sure you want to read on?  Well I'm hoping so because that's really why I am doing this.  It's to finally become the Julie that has always been inside of me, sure she scrambled out on a few occasions but I've always been a bit withdrawn in my past and boom suddenly over the last couple of months I've thought why am I like this?  Why not just be me?

So now am I am just being me, I'm accepting compliments, I would never have done before, I thought I wasn't the perfect size 10 or whatever your country's equivalent is, I thought I didn't deserve them.  Stupid huh?  Yeah NOW I realise that.

I'm 8 stone lighter than I was 2 years ago but you know I feel like double that weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I feel free (cheesy huh?) but sometimes cheesy works well it has for me.

I'm doing things I would NEVER have thought I would have been able to I'm even going on a plane even though I'm frightened beyond words to do it but sometimes in life you have to stand back and think hmm if I don't push myself to do things I never ever will and this feels like the right time.

This feels like the right time to do a lot of things and you know what I'm smiling from my ankles upwards to find out what's next on my journey through life, never had a plan for my life - sort of have now and that's a good thing.

So that's a bit more about me, I'm a weird mix of things but then all of us are aren't we that's why no two fingerprints are the same, we're individuals and that is why people become interested in us they want to know our story and that's what I hope to do in my blogs tell my story - its probably not that much different than a lot of people's but it's my story and that's why it's important for me to tell it.

I'll write more soon, I'm kinda liking this now.

Jewels xxxxxx